Unearthing The Garbage: Santa Paws

Comparing Me To Famous Authors

Here I am at the very start of my writing career with very few published works and a humble blog to show for my accomplishments. But my goal is follow the path of writing success and eventually have novels with my name on them to proudly display (preferably the name isn't there because I scratched it on using black marker). I recently started thinking where do I stand when compared against some of the more famous literary giants. When I thought long and hard about it, I realized I may not be so far away from being able to be ranked with them after all.

Stephen King goes to over 80 movies in one year. In my lifetime, I have probably seen well over 200 movies. 200 clearly beats 80, so that is one point for me.

Charlotte Bronte had one brother named Patrick Branwell, while I have two brothers. 2 is more than 1, which means another point for me.

William Shakespeare, it is believed, passed away on April 23, 1616. For the record, I am still very much alive. Being alive is better than being dead, thus another point for me.

Agatha Christie had written over 80 detective novels. I, on the other hand, have composed over 200 blog posts. As we have established earlier, 200 is way more than 80. I will give myself yet another point.

J.K. Rowling had to change her name from Joanne (Murray) Rowling because her publisher did not think boys would read a book by a female author. If I want to write books for boys, my name will already be pretty masculine sounding. Not having to change your name is a hundred times better than having to change it, which means once again I receive a point.

Nora Roberts got married to her first husband right after graduating from high school. I didn't marry until about 10 years after I was done high school. I've always been told it is better to wait than to rush into marriage, which means I deserve yet another point.

John Grisham was a quarterback for his high school football team. On television, I have watched many professional football quarterbacks play. Professional football players are better than high school football players, which means I win another point.

J.R.R. Tolkien is considered the 'father of fantasy' due to extensively creating his own fantasy world known as Middle Earth. People say that I live in my own little fantasy world. So yes, Tolkien created a fantasy world but he never actually got to live in it. Are you keeping score, because that is another point for me.

Charles Dickens often focused on the poor and disadvantaged in his classic novels. I lived in a place called Slum House which just screams poor and disadvantaged. Screaming is more likely to get your attention, which means I earn another point.

Michael Crichton is the only creative artist to be #1 in book, movie, and television sales (Disclosure, Jurassic Park, and ER) at the same time. I once watched a movie, listened to music, wrote an essay, tried to cook dinner and talked on the phone at the same time. I did way more things at once than a pitiful three, so I easily get another point.

Roald Dahl, during World War 2, crashed his biplane fighter aircraft when he was running low on fuel and had to try to land it in the desert late at night. Of all the times I have flown a kite, I have never crashed it in the dessert. I gain another point since not crashing is better than crashing.

Lewis Carroll created poems about the Snark and Jabberwocky, two imaginary creatures that people were probably more likely to give credit to camps, Disney or Pixar for. I make up about 100 words or creatures a day, just ask Emily. 100 is a far bigger number than 2, which means I obtain yet another point.

Ken Follet has been actively involved with Britain's Labour Party since the late 1970s. When I party, I try to do as little labour as possible. Not labouring while partying is way better, which means I win again.

I didn't really keep score but if I was asked, I'd say the final score was 640 for Christopher and 4 for the famous authors. Give or take a few points on each side. No matter the score, I think I proved that I am most definitely ranked up there with the other successful authors, and this is before I've even written my first novel!

Comments

  1. Anonymous1:38 pm

    Jennifer MacDonald Hryniw via Facebook:

    likes this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1:38 pm

    Derek Smith via Facebook:

    I'd like to see you try to buy a sports car, mansion, or yatch with those points. :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Meh, Shakespeare didn't have a sports car, mansion, or yatch either.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous1:39 pm

    Derek Smith via Facebook:

    Nope, he did better than that. I wish you the best and anything you do finally publish does a tenth of what shakespeare did, cause that would still be huge.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Considering Shakespeare is the best selling author(playwright/poet) of all time, I would be happy with a tenth of his sales. Though, it would be nice if I got those sales while alive.

    ReplyDelete

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