Seriously, Frank isn't me. . .

So, in my last post I made it clear that Frank was not me. I wasn't hinting at it being me. Nor did I want you to think that he was me. Yet everyone and their mother (and a few people's dogs) seems to think that Frank is me. Let's look at the differences and see for ourselves.

Frank has red curly hair
Chris is losing his hair

Frank likes ABBA
Chris thinks ABBA is the cause of hair loss

Frank collects Fungi as a hobby
Chris is a fun guy

Frank likes a girl named Lacey
Chris likes bowls of ice cream

Just to really prove the point that Frank is not me. I will give you the word for word conversation between Frank and the girl of his dreams, Lacey where he tried to confess his feelings.

Frank: Uh. . . um. . . Hi?
Lacey; Hello, Frank. How are you today?
Frank: Well. . . uh. . . did you ever. . . hmm. . see that movie with that guy?
Lacey: The movie with the guy?
Frank: Yeah, you seem to know the one. Wow, isn't amazing how we connect in that way.
Lacey: Wha?
Frank: I know, just makes you go WOW! We're just so close and such great friends.
Lacey: I'm lost.
Frank: But we are lost together.
Lacey: Huh?
Frank: Hmm. . . so. . . do you ever wonder why. . . uh. . . like. . . since we are so close. . . and lost together. . . uh. . .us. . .um. . . date?
Lacey: November 5th
Frank: Oi (Frank faints)

See, I can't be Frank. I'm so much smoother with the ladies. It takes me at least 5 more minutes until I faint. There you have it, Chris is not Frank. Frank is not Chris. Just for Candice, no Frank isn't a pirate. Yes, Pirates have loot but where do you think they plunder it from? That's right, from poor old Frank.