Top Secret UFO Projects Declassified: Perhaps as Stupid as I Could Ever Get

 There are a lot of things that I do that I don't quite understand.  Once I kind of accidentally farted on my cat.  My wife didn't like that.  Little John McClane didn't seem to mind.  Why did I do that?  I have no clue.  But, that incident of foul blowing winds was a much better decision than it was to watch Top Secret UFO Projects Declassified on Netflix.

I will state right away that my issue isn't with the subject matter.  I don't believe in extra terrestrials, but I'm willing to have my mind blown by irrefutable facts.  No amount of tin foil hats will bring this change about, but rather well crafted arguments and evidence.  Top Secret UFO Projects Declassified brought neither of those to the table.

This isn't a review of the entire series.  Such a review won't be happening.  I've watched just the first episode, and that's where this stops.  While I am a person that has no problem watching garbage, this is an insult to the evolution of human reasoning that I just cannot endure.

The episode's 'experts' were people whose qualifications were 'UFO expert' (whatever that means), 'UFO researcher' (once again, whatever that means), 'paranormal expert' (again, I'm not sure what qualifies a person to that status), and the son of someone.  Being a person's offspring means absolutely nothing.  I can't be an expert on something my father knows just through lineage.  A person's entire existence may be thanks to too much Chardonnay and a series of bad decisions, so heritage does not make one an expert.

All of these people fall short of presenting any information that a non-skeptic would view as plausible.  While they talk about incidents that were witnessed by people, the information that comes forth is incredibly suspect.  For instance, they talk about an encounter where a person finds a UFO and the being on board communicates with him and says he's from Venus.  This is enough for these 'experts' to call irrefutable, even though I think we can all agree that if there was an advanced civilization on Venus we would know about it.

The interviewees also make massive leaps in logic that makes it hard to listen to them as a source of conclusive proof.  In an interview with the media, a scientist was asked about the possibility of alien life, and he says it is possible.  What I hear from this is that as a scientist he has no proof to deny the possibility of extra-terrestrials.  The experts then take this as confirmation that aliens do indeed exist.

Another instance is that in some cases, officials admit that they were unable to identify flying objects.  What does this mean?  It means exactly what it says.  They were unable to identify them.  That's all.  It could have been anything, and that at that moment they were unable to determine what exactly it was.  Again, the 'experts' take this as proof of alien spacecraft.  I can't identify everything in the toilet bowl after I take a porcelain sabbatical, but that doesn't mean that it is proof that aliens fed me mysterious Venus food in my sleep.

On top of all of this, the production value itself and the show as a whole are just shamefully bad.  I honestly hate the concept of re-enactments in docuseries, but Top Secret UFO Projects Declassified takes things to an entirely new level of sadness. Instead of re-creations of people staring up into the sky, they rely on CGI representations of people looking up to the skies, looking slightly better than virtual reality offerings in the late 80s.  As well, the score is absurd at times.  The best I can describe it is that it is like some kind of science fiction microwave running or sputtering out.

There is only one reason for me making it through to the end of the first episode, and that is so I could at least write something about it.  Approximately five minutes in I wanted to pull the ripcord, but then those five minutes would be a complete waste.  Although, spending another forty minutes to justify watching a horrid five makes as much sense as farting on my cat.  Like I said, sometimes I do very stupid things.

Rating - 0.5 out of 4 stars