Back to the Awful: The Price of Social Media “Debates” and the Toll They Take on Mental Health

I just got smacked by a nasty little time portal transporting me back to mid-2020, when everything felt like it was unravelling in slow motion. Back then, I found myself facing a tough decision: I had to unfriend a bunch of people who were once really important to me, because I once respected them deeply.

It was the height of COVID, Black Lives Matter, and what felt like endless “debates” spilling all over social media. The world seemed on the edge of collapse, and everyone had an opinion on how to fix it. 

Now, I’m all for hearing both sides of an issue. The problem, though, was that hearing both sides wasn’t happening in a constructive way. The folks I eventually had to cut loose were the first to rage-comment, often resorting to name-calling and moralizing. Ironically, these were the same people who would preach about critical thinking, being informed, reading from “both sides,” and staying alert to the chaos swirling around us. 

The thing is, their sources were usually laced with conspiracy-riddled propaganda, and the moment you shared anything outside that bubble, they’d respond with “fake news.” They loved to challenge your thinking, but it was never with thoughtful, well-argued points. Instead, it was wrapped in condescension and a “how can you not see the truth?” vibe. They held to a belief just looking out your window should convert you on the spot. 

But here’s the thing: that’s not how healthy debates work. It’s not how relationships work either. What I experienced wasn’t discourse. It was bad for my mental health. It was exhausting. And eventually, it broke my heart to realize how far apart I’d grown from people I once admired, just because their approach to conversation had shifted into something far more toxic. 

Now, here we are again. The world’s still (or again) a flaming trash pile. Once more, there are multiple sides to every issue. But even more shockingly, there are still moments of thoughtful and nourishing conversations. 

But those moments are rare. 

And more often than not, social media feels like a battlefield for “the right side.” So, if you're out there storming onto someone’s page thinking you're the one with The Truth and you're going to change minds, consider this for a moment: 

🔹 Insulting someone’s intelligence isn’t a victory. 

🔹 A 30-sentence rage rant isn’t delivering facts, but just an emotional purge that probably belongs behind closed doors. 

🔹 If you really care about actual discourse (or maintaining relationships) then please, if you’re shouting about being informed and open-minded, at least bring some real facts and a little civility to the table. 

🔹 And yes, “open-mindedness” works both ways. 

Because the reality is, if the environment you're cultivating is full of insults and insults only, you're not changing minds. You're driving people away. And if we all continue down this path of social media warfare, I may find myself unfriending again.  

If this post annoys you, you probably don’t care anyway. But maybe we could all step back for a moment and try to have a real conversation. 

That’s what I’m holding out hope for.