Neurodivergence, Burnout, and Why 2025 Hasn't Gone as Planned (Yet)

 

So, I keep promising things will get better. 

The essays, the fiction, the steady stream of movie reviews, the revival of The Movie Breakdown, and the grand plan to finally conquer the freelance world as a keyboard-wizard? 

I keep writing posts like this.

Because my neurodivergent brain is obsessed with fresh starts and 'now this time will be different' type declarations.

This is why I am grateful for your patience. The lack of wonderful creations has nothing to do with losing interest or moving on to a career as a lemming whisperer. Heck, I’ve wanted it so much I think I keep forgetting to close the cupboards and put away the dishes because my brain is full of outlines, ideas, and plans. 

But here’s the thing I’m learning in my ongoing journey of self-discovery: this pattern of ambitious starts, unfinished projects, and burnout isn’t because I’m lazy or undisciplined. It’s because I’m neurodivergent. Turns out, living 47 years masking ADHD and autism (without knowing that’s what I was doing) really takes it out of a guy. I’ve spent decades working twice as hard just to appear “normal,” all while fighting executive dysfunction, time blindness, perfectionism, and that inner critic who’s louder than a toddler hopped up on Pixy Stix. 

No wonder I burned out. 

No wonder I kept promising big things and then couldn’t follow through. 

No wonder just trying harder meant I failed even more.

My brain’s been running marathons while I thought I was just jogging to the corner store. But here’s where the self-compassion comes in. Instead of beating myself up for the projects I didn’t finish or the posts I didn’t publish, I’m trying something new: I’m focusing on understanding why it’s been so hard. And I’m putting strategies in place. That means working with how my brain actually functions — breaking tasks down smaller, giving myself permission to ship things even if they aren’t perfect, setting more realistic timelines, and, above all, being kinder to myself when the plan goes off the rails. 

And yes, I’ve written things like this before — I’ve shared my determination to reset and refocus. But this time, it comes with something different: a clearer understanding of how my mind works and why past efforts fell short. This isn’t just about grit or willpower anymore; it’s about self-awareness and sustainable change. 

I still have big dreams. I want Beyond the Balcony to finally find its groove with essays, reviews, and reflections. I want to dive into fiction — not just dream about it, but actually put words on the page. I want to land regular work with major sites, build my income back up, and create space to chase the creative goals that light me up. And The Movie Breakdown will continue, even if it’s me rambling into the void for a while. 

Oh, and speaking of things that light me up — holy heck am I down for that Hail Mary movie starring Ryan Gosling! Seriously, that’s the kind of thing that gives me life. So here’s to the second half of 2025. I may not have produced everything I advertised so far, but I’m learning, growing, and putting the pieces together. And if you’re still here, reading and rooting for me — thank you. 

Let’s see where this goes.