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I’ve been quick to label myself with words like self-sabotage, self-doubt, over-ambitious, and failure when describing my career and creative projects like Beyond the Balcony, The Movie Breakdown, or my proposed books.
Even after my AuDHD (autism and ADHD) diagnosis, I kept lugging around a crate of shame and guilt. The diagnosis explained the burnout, misunderstandings, executive dysfunction, and emotional dysregulation, but it didn’t magically provide a ladder out of the hole I had dug.
What I’ve learned this year is the importance of working with my brain rather than trying to “fix” it. That shift has gone hand-in-hand with learning self-compassion, while still accepting responsibility. Yes, many mistakes are my own, but my wiring explains why they’ve so often repeated or been so crushing.
The Shadow of Struggle
As 2025 speeds toward its close, the instinct is to beat myself up for all the goals I’ve dropped or fumbled. Harder still is facing the reality that my lack of writing income hurts my family.
I’ve needed new shoes for over two years.
I haven’t had my own mobile plan in ages, and my wife has had to handle anything requiring texts or calls.
I owe my kids money and many gifts..
My wife can’t even joke about luxuries, because her income is all we have.
Two lines of credit remain heavy burdens, with one entirely of my own making. Just recently, the bank called with a deadline: close to $2,000 due by October 6th for my chequing account.
Meanwhile, the mourning process of my diagnosis has been exhausting. I need two new therapists, one for navigating neurodivergence, another who understands a neurotypical–neurodivergent marriage. Even the smallest “simple” tasks, like making an appointment, can feel like carrying a boulder.
The financial pressure and the realities of neurodivergence constantly loom. Some days, they push me to prove myself; other days, they leave me questioning what’s truly possible.
The Bright Spots of 2025
But when I actually stop to look back, this year hasn’t been empty. Far from it.
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Beyond the Balcony didn’t hit all the goals I set, but I wrote multiple pieces on neurodivergence and mental health that resonated deeply and brought in more personal thank-you notes from grateful readers than any other year.
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The Movie Breakdown returned, even if inconsistently, with episodes where I let myself be vulnerable.
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I wrote four short scripts for VBS, performed them with my family, and saw them receive glowing feedback from kids and adults alike.
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I performed in three stage productions with each rewarding and energizing.
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I landed consistent freelance work with a kind editor who values my strengths and shows potential for growth.
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I sent out pitches I’m proud of, many of which earned praise, even if industry conditions kept them from moving forward. That tells me perseverance is the key.
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I’ve begun conversations that may lead to ad agency work with real consistency ahead.
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Beyond writing, I’ve had treasured family moments and some amazing trips.
There are many wins in 2025.
The Ask
Still, the finances are real. Even with the work I have now and the potential on the horizon, I don’t know if I’ll meet that October 6th deadline.
So, I turn to you, my wonderful readers.
If you know someone looking for a creative, imaginative, and passionate neurodivergent writer, I’d love to create some magic for them. I can:
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Bring storytelling flair to ad copy that helps a business stand out.
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Write essays on neurodivergence, pop culture, parenting, or mental health.
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Create scripts for presentations, churches, or children’s clubs.
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Craft personal short stories you can give as one-of-a-kind gifts.
And if my decade-plus of articles, reviews, and podcasts has ever meant something to you or brought joy to your life, one of the best ways you can support me right now is through a donation via PayPal if you are in the financial position to do so. Any relief lightens the survival stress and frees me to focus on the meaningful work I want to share with you.
Looking Ahead
The truth is, my best work is still ahead. I plan to launch a newsletter and explore Patreon, but I want to do it right, in a way that brings you real value rather than just being a revenue stream.
I’m grateful for your years of support. I’m excited for what’s next. And I believe, even after a few years of struggle, the best is still coming.
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