For Want of a Reset Button

As you hop, run, and explore through life, sometimes you hit a level where you yearn for a reset button. You realize you missed that crucial power-up you needed to clear the jump ahead or overcome the giant robotic gorilla.

Right now, I feel like I’m stuck on “Game Over.”

I broke a tooth, which makes it painful to chew.
My chequing account appears closed, and debt looms larger and meaner than Bowser.
Years of self-sabotage have cost me clients, and the stress of financial panic makes it hard to focus on the ones I still have.

I owe my kids money and gifts. I worry I’m not showing them enough love.
I have creative ambitions still stuck in idea form, waiting for their chance to play the level.
I feel uncertain about my marriage and guilty about not being the partner I want to be.
I can’t help but wonder: what if I’d been diagnosed and treated for my neurodivergence decades earlier? Would I have had the tools to build something stronger?

I keep falling into the lava. Getting chomped by the Piranha Plant. My confidence was lost somewhere around Stage 3.

For want of a reset button, a chance to start over and finally get it right.

But here’s the catch: a reset doesn’t just erase the bad; it erases the good too.

If I reset back to the start, maybe I’d be more proactive, make wiser choices, but what if that meant my kids were never born?

Despite everything, I have a dog and cat who love to snuggle.
A wealth of memories with my kids and family.
Creative victories and a handful of meaningful career wins.
I’ve met incredible, supportive people over the past year.
Even at my lowest, I’ve written things that reached and helped others.

A reset would wipe all of that away; the amazing and the awful.

And I need the amazing. It’s what keeps me going. So maybe I don’t need to reset my life after all. Maybe I just need to reset my perspective.

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Life is tough right now. If you’d like to help me keep creating work like this, I’d be so grateful.

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Thank you for reading, supporting, and being part of this journey. I’ll keep pressing forward, and keep creating for you amazing readers.