The Friend Conundrum

I write, create, and record with the hope that my work will find an audience; one that’s large, engaged, and maybe even moved by what I make. If Beyond the Balcony, my newsletter, or my podcast ever have a shot at being sustainable, they need to reach beyond my inner circle. No one makes a living creating only for friends and family.

And yet… I often get stuck there.

Even though I create for the world, I obsess over whether my friends or family read, listen, or share what I do. Some part of me believes that if the people who love me won’t engage (the ones with a built-in sense of loyalty), then what hope do I have with strangers?

But that logic doesn’t hold up.

Loved ones can care deeply about me and still not share my passions. My mom might not choose to read a newsletter about movies, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t rooting for me.

For too long, I’ve attached too much meaning to which friends read my work or how many family members click “like.” I’ll feel low if someone close to me skips an article, even though their engagement wouldn’t magically turn my career around. Sure, a share or recommendation would help. But lasting growth comes from people I don’t know discovering my work, connecting with it, and sharing it because it resonates, not because they know me.

It’s hard, though. With a lifelong struggle to feel accepted or truly fit in, I cling to those who’ve shown care or commitment. But they’re not obligated to champion my work, and their support alone won’t lead to publishing deals or financial stability.

The only way forward is to keep creating work that connects and speaks to others. My focus needs to shift from hoping for validation to offering something of value: stories, reflections, and ideas that entertain, comfort, or inspire. That’s how I’ll build the kind of audience that truly lasts.

If you love what I've done so far, I really could use your support right now. Here are three ways you can help me out:
☕ Ko-fi - you can 'buy me a coffee' either on my site or by clicking the floating badge.
✉️ Substack (pledge now for paid tier) - Subscribing allows you to get more of my work without worrying about algorithms.
💸 PayPal - If you prefer to donate this way, I won't object.