But it was definitely a lot easier to convince Everett to come outside and shovel in 2014. I’m still not sure if, in this photo, he slipped on the ice or is pretending to be a polar bear. Or a hippo. Honestly, all are fully plausible options for the time.
This morning, while shovelling the driveway, it hit me that I could probably ask him to help a lot more with things like shovelling or doing the dishes. Part of the issue is my hyperfocus, when I see a task, I just jump into it without thinking to ask anyone for help. Back in 2014, Everett would see me put on a coat and instantly want to tag along.
Now, he prefers the Switch.
But every so often, I look out the window and get hit with surprise or even awe when I see him voluntarily jump into a task. He’s actually really good at doing chores around the house, though usually there is a little bit of drama before the act. Especially if he is playing a video game. Now, it is done without an inexplicable “now I am a hippo” break.
I’ll also admit something harder: I rarely ask for help because of shame. Shame that I’m not making the money I should be, or the success I want. Some part of me feels like shovelling alone or cleaning the kitchen solo somehow compensates for my perceived failures.
I’m pretty sure this is a line of thinking many neurodivergent readers can relate to. It’s not compassionate, nor is it healthy, but it’s familiar.
Either way, I do miss how cute he was “helping” me shovel back in 2014. In this picture, it looks like he either grabbed an adult-sized shovel or it was taken before we bought him the little blue kids’ one.
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