Panic!

I’ve grown this year. I’ve learned a lot about myself. I've come out of the past 12 months stronger.

Being diagnosed with AuDHD began a long-overdue process of rediscovery and self-compassion. It helped me understand why so many things have been harder than they needed to be.

But it didn’t erase the panic.

The fear still shows up: Can I actually be successful? Will I ever break the cycle?

I’m heading into Christmas frustrated that I didn’t maintain a long-term client, didn’t grow the audience the way I hoped, and didn’t make the money I needed to erase some debt or afford to buy gifts for my kids.

That panic isn’t unique to me. Anyone in this position would feel it.

What is specific to me is how much of this struggle comes from struggling to learn, late in life, how to work with my brain instead of constantly fighting it. Managing energy. Prioritizing tasks. Finishing work without burning out or collapsing under shame.

That has to change in 2026.

It means stronger self-advocacy.
Better systems and tools.
More realistic expectations.
And recognizing, once and for all, that shame is never justified when you’re doing your best to survive.

The last few years have been hard. Really hard. Mostly in ways that were invisible from the outside. I hope that, over time, I can articulate those experiences more clearly, not just for understanding, but to help others who are quietly carrying the same weight.

As this year ends, I’m deeply grateful for every reader and supporter who’s stuck with me. My goal is to make 2026 one of my most creative, sustainable, and fulfilling years yet.

Christmas is a day away, and I’ll be honest: I could really use some help if you’re in a position to offer it, whether that’s financial support or very quick-turnaround work. it.

---

If my work resonates with you and you’d like to support it, there are a few ways you can help:

• Subscribe to Life on the Balcony newsletter 

• Toss a few dollars into the tip jar via the Support Me badge or my Ko-fi page.

• Consider hiring me for your business.

• Or order one of my custom Santa Letters and Christmas Stories

Every bit genuinely helps. Not just financially, but emotionally. It helps me keep going, keep writing, and keep building something that matters.