Self-Fix

I have had a time-consuming, career-ruining, and self-esteem-damaging hyper-focused habit for over a decade now. No matter what I did, I couldn't quit it cold turkey. It was so ridiculous and hard to explain that I never really asked for help.

But I now know it was fueled by both my AuDHD brain and a misguided self-protective instinct. I can't go further and have to remain vague, because it is so complicated and hard to explain what I was doing. I guess the best way to explain it was procrastinating through the guise of productivity, and I'm sure some can relate to that broader description.

With some focused strategy and therapy, I have discovered a way to 'accomplish' the task and give my brain the reward of 'success'. This should allow me to finally move past it. I'll still need a lot more therapy and tools to avoid it happening again, but right now, I am getting a dopamine kick from convincing myself this decade project is about to wrap up.

Now, my focus will be on being the best possible dad and husband. building back a sustainable writing career, and growing an audience for my creative projects, like the site, newsletter, and podcast.

I'm sure this post broke your brain since it is so unclear, but the takeaway is that we all have those things that block us. Sometimes you can't just 'quit it'. The key is finding a way to work with your brain to move past it and replace it with things far more rewarding and fulfilling.

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