I've been looking up for a miracle.
I don't really believe it's possible. But desperation alters how you see things. When overwhelm and anxiety dominate your day, and nothing seems to get the motor running, you hope for a majestic mechanic to appear from thin air and make it all better.
Sometimes that means crossing fingers that an X will mark the spot and sudden treasure will appear. A thousand dollars will take off some of the pressure and give me the confidence to take a chance or two, rather than feel paralyzed by the idea that my next choice must be the game-changer.
This leads to my other constant thought about my yearned-for miracle. A breaktrhrough.
The hope one viral post, one landed gig, one published article, or one sent newsletter will suddenly land me hordes of loyal readers where I can monetize my work or leverage it to better-paying work or a book deal. The sudden moment that it all changes, and life is a field of lollipops and disco-grooving unicorns.
Except the reality is a breakthough only appears that way to an outsider. They hear about a new hot writer or discover a game-changing invention. They don't know that the writer or inventor has been spending years or even decades working through that idea and trying things that fail and other things that end up being a stepping stone to their eventual 'overnight success'.
I need to realize when I am at my most down and frustrated, where I am desperate for some money to get me out of debt and build some momentum, that breakthrough only comes from a series of small cracks.
Success fissures.Little moments that create the large crack and give the outside world the belief it was a breakthrough. A sudden moment. A out of nowhere victory.
It comes wth just a little victory every day.
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