Likely, many won't ever read this post.
That is fine.
It is one of many throwaway, pointless posts that I chuck on here to keep some meaningness streak alive without pushing through the roadblocks, fears, and overwhelm of actually putting myself out there with something authentic and vulnerable.
Can a movie review be vulnerable?
Can a pop culture piece be vulnerable?
It is when every piece you create feels like a judgment or a reflection of my worth. I define myself as a writer because I often feel there isn't much more left to define me. It is the thing that I am good at, but if my best is a fart in church, then what does that say about me?
Yet that fear has played a staggering role in my current dilemma.
I need money, I need work. And I sure would like this site, my newsletter, and podcast to be able to play a positive part in my career.
But it doesn't really do that at the moment. I am very lean on work, and lack the readers or listeners open to paying for my work.
This, of course, is all fine.
It means I need to take more chances. I need to just push forward. I need to craft something that justifies my hopes and dreams.
I need to write something that has a chance.
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