Things AuDHd Taught Me

 

A few things I’ve learned about myself after being diagnosed with autism and ADHD: 

1. The “easy-going” myth 

For 47 years, I thought being “easy-going” meant sacrificing what you want, bottling up frustration, and then venting when you’re alone. People saw me as laid-back… until they actually got to know me and saw the neon bouncing ball in action. I’m not even sure “easy-going” really fits a neurodivergent brain, when your head is full of racing thoughts, prone to anxiety, and living a sensory nightmare. 

2. Not actually “obsessed” 

I’ve been called “obsessed” close to a million times. But a lot of the time, it was just how a neurodivergent brain processes. We hyperfocus. We seek closure. We need to finish the loop. Yes, special interests can look intense from the outside. But they’re not a flaw; they’re often how we regulate, and stay emotionall healthy. 

3. We need to redefine “immaturity” 

A lot of neurodivergent people still find joy in toys, cartoons, games, and imagination. We stim. We get silly. We play. That isn’t immaturity. For years, I buried that side of myself because I thought I had to. Looking back, suppressing that “quirky” part of me did real damage to my mental health. 

4. Comparison is a losing game 

So much of my life, I felt like a failure because I didn’t have the same energy as others or struggled with “simple” tasks. Neurodivergence often means a spiky profile where you might excel in one area and really struggle with a seemingly simple task. Energy isn’t consistent either, especially with social demands or executive function tasks. But I’ve started to see that my imagination, pattern recognition, outside-the-box thinking, and ability to brainstorm are strengths many neurotypicals struggle with. 

5. Communication is harder than I realized 

I used to think I was good at communication. Now I see how often I struggle following group conversations, knowing when to speak, interpreting vague requests, or navigating all the unwritten social rules. I’ve gotten better over time, but I also recognize how much energy it has taken to appear “normal.”

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