I always assume that an editor not reaching out to me after a few months of completing work for them is due to my piece being subpar, even if they praised it at the time.
If a friend doesn't become a subscriber or read all my stuff, I assume that must mean my work is a flaming bag of crap.
If my numbers stay stagnant, then that clearly means I've deluded myself into thinking I create things worthwhile.
No responses to pitches or not landing work is a sign that my life is destined to be sweeping grocery store floors.
But at some level, I know none of those above statements are true. I need to keep putting out work consistently and remember that editors have a billion writers coming through their lives, and it is my job to stay on their radar, even if I've already worked for them. At least, that means it would be a bit easier to reignite the relationship.
My audience numbers aren't amazing. But considering what I delivered this year, they aren't abysmal. Instead, the next step is to craft high-quality work again and find things that connect with an audience.
As someone with AuDHD, building relationships is frightening; I always overthink it. As well, I tend to be overflowing with ambitious ideas and demands that all successes arrive immediately.
I need to accept that success comes in its own time. My best way to snag it is to keep doing my best work. Pace myself to avoid burnout. Sometimes realize part of the work is reaching out to that past client or editor and believing they want to hear from me.
If they don't, they'll just ghost you like everyone else.
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