I Couldn't Even Get A Whole Week. . .

I don't remember the exact date. I definitely don't recall the year. I know it was February. It was either on Valentine's Day or it was the day before. In the end, that doesn't really affect the story. It definitely doesn't change the outcome. I was on a blind date. I wasn't told it was a blind date but it started to come very clear that this is what it was. My friend had been dating a young lady for a few months now and it seemed pretty serious. I got along with her fairly well. She seemed to think I was a prety swell guy. As luck would have it, I usually found myself as the third wheel. I started to not really want to hang out with them. Especially since they tended to be a rather 'touchy' couple. I've never been a big fan of watching two people make baby talk and lie on top of each other. Actually, it's making me sick to my stomach just reminiscing.

Anyway, my friend's girlfriend asked if it was okay if a friend of hers hung out one weekend. Since I sort of got tired sitting in a corner while they made out, I thought it would be an outstanding idea. I encouraged her try to bring this friend along. It should be fun to have someone to talk to. I was promised that she was a cool girl and that I would really like her. That was enough evidence for me to give the go ahead.

Little did I know, I had just agreed to a blind date. No, this didn't mean I had to spend the whole evening with a rag wrapped around my eyes. I wouldn't have done so well with that because I don't like not seeing for an extended period of time. Unless I'm sleeping because I tend to do that just fine with my eyes closed. But this isn't supposed to be about my sleeping patterns but rather a mistake made in my storied life. I agree, at 27 years old calling my life 'storied' does come off a little vain. This is my blog and here, I say what goes. Yes, that came off even more vain. Ahem, I've got a story to finish here.

I met the girl. Girl is pretty. Next thing I know, I'm in the backseat of the car and being driven to some zany resturaunt. Well, 'zany' might make you think we went to a Chucky Cheese or a Pirate Themed Establishment. Those would have actually been really fun. Instead, we went to a place called Callahan's and I think I got chicken wings. I realize that chicken wings is one of the worst of all first date foods. I didn't even know I was on a date yet. I thought, I was just hanging out with a girl. I think, I ended up paying for her dinner but that was probably because I didn't feel like splitting a 20.

Then things started getting fishy. My friend and his girlfriend disappeared a lot. Somehow, I always ended up sitting right next to this girl. I was being pushed to ask questions and get to know this girl. It started to feel like a date. It couldn't be a date? Right? My friends wouldn't put me on a blind date. That's for people in sitcoms and they never turn out good. Besides, my friend knew that I had a really big crush on a girl back at school.

Little did I know, my friend decided it was time for me to move on. He didn't like that I had a really big crush on this girl from high school. He knew what I didn't. She wasn't ever going to date me. I seemed to have missed the signs like when she said, 'We will only ever be friends' or 'We will never ever date.' They were a little too subtle as you can see.

Here I was, liking another girl and oblivious that I was on a date. Next thing I knew, we were in a park. How romantic. Except it wasn't romantic at all because I was still in the land of oblivious. I do realize I am a permanent resident there but I do take occasional visits to reality. I had bought her a small gift because my friend thought it would be nice. It was Valentine's Day or close to it, I thought she would appreciate it. I gave her gift and I wish I remember what it was. It wasn't wrestling or Transformers related so I've since forgotten.

While I was giving the gift, my friends seemed to have vanished. Which was odd because I thought they only did their affection in public. I thought maybe a vulture carried them off or something. But like a bad cough, I knew they would be back. They had left me alone with this girl once again. So, we talked and talked and talked. To be honest, I started to get a little bored. To amuse myself, I slipped the ring off her finger and did a mock proposal to her. I know it sounds very random and odd but either my memory really stinks or it was just really odd. 10 years hasn't left me with the most vivid of memories of the night. Yet I continue to blabber on, isn't it amazing?

Somehow, this lead to her asking me question. It wasn't a question I had ever been asked in my 17 years of existence at the time. She wasn't asking me my favourite colour or who had just farted. Those where questions I knew how to respond to - which would both be me farting again and then laughing at my genius. No, instead she asked me, 'Aren't you going to kiss me?' I was shocked. A girl? Wants to kiss me? Did I want to kiss her? Did I even like her? Well, I didn't have much time to process it all because next thing I knew, she was kissing me. Thus I had my very first kiss. This hang out, had now become a date.

I had many more kisses that night. I remember becoming really cuddly. Basically, I would have made myself sick on any other day. This wasn't any other day. This was the day I was on a date that I didn't think was a date. A proof that I truly am an oblivious man. She left that night and I was left wondering what had happend. I was later told, I was now dating her and a good boyfriend would call her the next day. Since, this was my first time being a boyfriend then I really didn't want to start things off on a bad note. I called her. I proceeded to realize we had a whole lot not in common. I got bored. I was a good boyfriend and thus stayed on the phone for close to an hour.

We had decided that we would have another date on the next Friday. I wasn't particurally pumped but it would give me something to do. We met up at the mall which is the mandatory hook up spot for all high schoolers. We then ended up going to the concert of a band that I knew the members. It was fun and jolly and wild and stuff. Definitely stuff considering I was a high school student. I had the lingo down. Anyway, at some point we decided to explore the basement of the church we were in. Apparently, during all exploring sessions you need to kiss the person you are with. Since we were really exploring then I really kissed her a lot.

Then she stopped talking to me. Which was odd because she usually would never stop. Talking was sort of her hobby. She would go on and on and on and on -- don't you hate that about people? Um, anyway. I asked her what was wrong and to the best of my recollection, this was the dialogue.

'I think I shouldn't have kissed you, Chris.'

'Uh, why?

'Because, I really think we work best as friends.'


'I'm really sorry.'


'I didn't want to break your heart. I didn't want to hurt you.'


'Are you going to be okay?'


'Be honest, Chris.'

'I'll be fine.'

'We can still be friends, right?'

"Were we friends?'

'Oh Chris, don't be mad at me.'

"I'm not. This is cool. Honest.'

'Don't hide your feelings. Everything is going to be fine. I really want to remain your friend.'

'Cool. Um, I think I am going to go home.'

'I don't think you should be alone tonight. I think you need a friend. I know your hurting.'

'Um, I think I'll manage.'

'Don't forget me, okay?'

'I won't. Can I go?'

"Call me, okay?'

'It's long distance and I can't really afford it.'

'Will you visit?'

'I don't have a car.'

'Will you miss me?'

'Not if you never let me leave.'

Thus ended, my one week relationship with the girl I didn't know I had a blind date with. Thus the reason I detest blind dates. This has always been the little relationship I would like to white out. Pretend it never happend. It did happend. I dated a girl for less then a week. I can honestly say, I didn't really ever like her. I just was sort of confused as to how I was supposed to act. Thus I gave another proof to why men are a stupid, stupid, stupid gender. I don't know whatever happend to her. I actually only saw her once after this. It was one of the shortest conversations known to man. I went on to have a crush on the girl my friend didn't want me to have a crush on. That probably lasted until my high school career ended. I did high school for 6 years so that was a long crush. I'll save my ineptness at high school story for another day.

What did we learn about today kids? 1)There is a reason to why Chris hates blind dates. 2)Chris has dated a girl for less then a week. 3)The incorrest answer to the question 'are you going to kiss me', is to kiss them if you actually weren't planning on doing it. Just say no. It will save you a week of your life.


  1. Anonymous6:05 am

    gosh. i feel so sorry for you. but it was a good story..and it kept me on the edge of my seat, biting my fingernails, but then i fell off my seat and my finger jabbed into my gums. thanks alot spicer..it's all your fault.

  2. Anonymous6:06 am

    haha..hope you got the humor out of that comment..when did all this happen? in high school?

  3. wow, that sounded like an odd blind date, that blended into an odd week. But hey, at least ya got a good story outta it, and you can say you've been on a blind date, I've never been on a blind date...i've watched the show Blind Date...do you have that crappy dating show up there...they never end up happy...maybe that's what this girl was training for, the show...who knows

  4. ....sometimes they even have really cool fights and walk home! or throw drinks at each other...and that's only one ONE date...

  5. wow....when you told me before that you dated a girl for a week...you never told me anything more. its kind of a funny story, sorry.



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