Top 10 Reasons I Rarely Update

10. Technology scares me - ARGH!!! Too many flashy, colourful and bright buttons! I think the monitor is secretly laughing at me! I don't understand WYSIWYG!!!!! Where's my muffin? SIDENOTE: This may explain why I'm so awful on Messenger or e-mailing too.

9. The dog ate my blogs. Hmmm. . . that didn't work for homework in high school either. Rats.

8. Blogs are bad for the environment. I'm all about the Green Peace now. I throw my plastics in the garbage can instead of the on the lawn now. Yeah for me! What? You're supposed to recycle those? So many rules, I can't keep up!!!

7. I've been spending the last 3 months trying to figure out how to register online for Dee & Cam's wedding. Um guys. . . I apologize if it says me and Em have accepted to come to the wedding about 131 times. Like I said, technology scares me and often will leave me in a drooling stupor.

6. I've devoted all my time to trying to discover the Caramilk secret. How does that Caramel get into those chocolate cubes? Or maybe more importantly, why did a marketing company even think that was a half decent campaign? The question should have been why should anyone care? Or even moreso, how can a campaign be considered intriguing when a 6 year old child probably figured it out the mystery.

5. Too much crime is abundant in this universe. You may wonder how that is a valid excuse for me to stop blogging. I say, I'm not about to reveal that I have a superhero alter ego. Oops.

4. I'm holding out for the big bling. If sports stars can do it then why can't I? No more blogging goodness until I see the mad cash. What do mean by 'so, I guess this will be your last blog?' Aw man!

3. I've actually been blogging consistently for 4 months now. They've probably been the most insightful, thought-provoking, hilarious and super-awesome (that's one word) blogs ever known to man. I've just done them all in the invisible font. Learn how to read it.

2. Cam ate waiver wings and he could have died. What does that have to do with not blogging? Nothing. I must allow it to be known to the whole world that a friend of mine actually thought it was a good idea to eat food that needed a waiver to be signed and a health card to be presented. Since we are guys, we deemed him the man forever and ever.

1. Isn't it rather odd that I claim to enjoy writing yet I can't even keep up this blog on a regular basis? According to the date, my last blog entry was in May. May! May I please tell you that it is now August. Somebody is horrid at this blog thing. And it isn't Cheesy Toffee because that person just logged in another entry. Why am I shilling for Cheesy Toffee? I don't know. I have never read her work and maybe I now feel guilty. Doesn't she deserve my readership? Doesn't she deserve some props? Once again, I don't know because I never read her work. I probably won't start. Hmmm. . . looks like #s 2 & 1 on this here top ten list don't actually have any relation to the actual point of the list. Isn't that truly the real point? Yes, I know that makes no sense. I also know that an entire blog entry from me that does make sense would in reality not truly make any sense. I gots to be me. You know it.

Man, I am hungry for lunch. Peace out.