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Posted by
Christopher Spicer
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10. When you take out the trash for Garbage Day, you drop the bag on your porch and then proceed to kick it to the curb. If the garbage reaches the curb, you then proceed to yell 'GOAL!' and do a dance on your porch. You've also likely left a lot of yummy ice cream containers and meat bones on your lawn for the resident raccoon to enjoy.
9. You beam with pride when someone calls you a hooligan.
8. When you wake up tomorrow morning, you will have the strong urge to call into work, and start making coughing noises while explaining to the secretary there is no way you can go into work today because you are too sick. She will then remark that something must be going around because your boss took the day off too.
7. If you're Canadian, you will have the strange desire to wave the flag and show national pride of a nation that you have never lived in, but once stayed there for 20 minutes during a flight stopover. If you aren't Canadian, then congratulations on actually having your country in the World Cup.
6. When it starts to rain, you feel it necessary to jump directly up and catch the raindrops with your head.
5. When someone asks you to pass something, you firmly plant one foot, then step out with your other foot while using both hand to toss the object directly over your head. This can turn out to be rather ugly when asked to pass bottles of beer or steak knives.
4. You get the impulse to chant 'Ole Ole' over and over again when in the company of over 4 people. If said company has not contracted the fever, then you should expect a prompt pummeling after about three seconds.
3. Somebody taps you on the shoulder, and your immediate instinct is to drop to the ground and huddle in a ball while clutching your knee.
2. If you get cut off while driving, you will proceed to catch up with the driver and then flash a red card in their direction.
1. When someone remarks that nobody in Canada will even bother watching the World Cup, you will inform them that more kids are enrolling into soccer leagues than any other sport in the country. Of course, you then will give them a bicycle kick to the head.
Enjoy the World Cup!
9. You beam with pride when someone calls you a hooligan.
8. When you wake up tomorrow morning, you will have the strong urge to call into work, and start making coughing noises while explaining to the secretary there is no way you can go into work today because you are too sick. She will then remark that something must be going around because your boss took the day off too.
7. If you're Canadian, you will have the strange desire to wave the flag and show national pride of a nation that you have never lived in, but once stayed there for 20 minutes during a flight stopover. If you aren't Canadian, then congratulations on actually having your country in the World Cup.
6. When it starts to rain, you feel it necessary to jump directly up and catch the raindrops with your head.
5. When someone asks you to pass something, you firmly plant one foot, then step out with your other foot while using both hand to toss the object directly over your head. This can turn out to be rather ugly when asked to pass bottles of beer or steak knives.
4. You get the impulse to chant 'Ole Ole' over and over again when in the company of over 4 people. If said company has not contracted the fever, then you should expect a prompt pummeling after about three seconds.
3. Somebody taps you on the shoulder, and your immediate instinct is to drop to the ground and huddle in a ball while clutching your knee.
2. If you get cut off while driving, you will proceed to catch up with the driver and then flash a red card in their direction.
1. When someone remarks that nobody in Canada will even bother watching the World Cup, you will inform them that more kids are enrolling into soccer leagues than any other sport in the country. Of course, you then will give them a bicycle kick to the head.
Enjoy the World Cup!
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I am a writer, so I write. When I am not writing, I will eat candy, drink beer, and destroy small villages.
Comments
Well said Spicer.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed #3 & 4 and quite literally "LoL"ed!
ReplyDeleteDee Da Silva via Facebook:
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I've seen my dad do several of these.... It's definitely a fever in this house.