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Oh boy!
Here we are once again with you coming to my site looking for that promised daily posting of articles, and myself writing the prose version of an 'aw shucks' shoulder shrug.
Have I mentioned how hard the past 18 plus months have been?
Oh, I have, You are done with that one. Okay.
Well, unlike last September where I was heading into the fall season with very few client prospects, very little new movies to write about, the promise of kids being stuck at home all day with online schooling and being hounded by what at the time I was trying to deny was extreme burn-out, exhaustion and depression, this year I have some work lined up along with potential leads, there are a slew of new movies to write about on this site, my kids are going to be at a physical school every day (fingers crossed), and I had over two weeks to myself to deal with (and realize) my burnout while creating strategies to avoid it in the future. I'm extremely confident September will be one of the best months ever for this site and also my career outside of this site.
I want to pour out my gratitude and appreciation and love for those that have stuck with me the past few years when this site often has had very little new stuff to read. Even as a person who writes for living and is all about properly conveying my thoughts, I can't completely express how much your support has meant to me.
It really caused my heart to soar up into the heavens (I should get that checked) when my three recent movie review pieces attracted a really high readership and even got shared around a little bit on social media.
The weird thing is that one of my first regular writing gigs was crafting weekly movie reviews. I had done it for several years and actually got paid pretty well for it. The site that I wrote for unfortunately went out of business. I was actually about to sign the contract to a very significant publication where I was to be the head movie critic and writer/editor, but then the delightful world of work-place politics smashed in my way, so I had the contract pulled away and saw someone else get the position (they are awesome and still have it). This was years ago, but it played significant mind games with me. It may be one of the causes for the psychological block I keep getting when I've tried to write movie reviews the last few years despite it being something I was paid to do for years and I still review movies on the podcast on a weekly basis.
For some reason, it was a thing that was torturous and I couldn't craft to completion for most of the last several years in written form.
So, thank you for supporting the recent movies reviews, and I hope this will allow me to eventually leap over that hurdle, and I can now go concentrate on long jump instead or maybe javelin.
For various reasons, I have got behind on reviews again, but expect Candyman, The Marksman and The Tomorrow War very soon. I do want to start posting reviews on or very near to the opening dates this September and beyond. I should warn that I already know that Shang-chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings will not be posted until at least the day after opening day.
One of my biggest challenges with writing has also just been one of my biggest challenges in my life. I've had a few people throw negative comments towards me that have smothered doubts on my dreams or how I see myself as a person. I've allowed the comments to haunt me. I've tried to change my perspective on that and not allow things like that to control me. I actually wrote a brief piece about it on Facebook. but I feel it is something I'd like to share for those that aren't on Facebook or don't follow my personal feed (or algorithms just decided it never shows up on your feed).
Most of my life I have been haunted by negative remarks that have been made or some expressing doubts about my ability to achieve my dreams or goals. Sometimes I hear new ones uttered by actual people but even more harmful, I hear them in my head where I assume this is what many are thinking.
I'm slowly realizing that rather than using them as ways to define my self-worth that instead I should use them as fuel.
Fuel to prove those voices wrong. Fuel to improve myself when they may currently be right. Fuel to drive myself towards my dreams and goals for self-improvement to where those voices have no power since reality makes them sound foolish.
I don't know if this type of thing is a challenge for you. These voices don't need to be right or stop you being the person who leaves a lasting positive impact on the world. The voices and the doubters are there to be proven wrong, and it should be a motivation rather than an obstacle.
It took me over 40 years to figure out how to handle negativity and criticism. It took all this time to realize the proper way to deal with people who may be toxic towards me.
As someone who is a perpetual people pleaser and has a nasty habit of taking every comment and response deeply to heart, I knew for quite a long time that I couldn't be like my father who is a master of ignoring such things and doesn't even care the slightest bit about what most think.
I hear that negative comments and I go through a hostile interaction, and it lingers and dwells in my mind for days and weeks and months and if I am unlucky enough, years. Hell, in some cases it has probably been decades.
The last year I've worked through some of this and recognized that I couldn't let it define me. But I didn't actually know what to do with it, because I wasn't capable of just ignoring it. I was fooling myself if I thought I could just laugh it off. It hurt. It haunted. It existed. It was taking up significant space in my mind and affecting my creativity. I still had the countless ideas, but not the energy or belief to turn them into something more.
If I'm going to be honest, it was shortly before I wrote that Facebook piece that it finally connected with me on how to deal with negativity. The negativity that is both expressed by real people and the negativity that has been fully formed by my insecure and flawed mind.
The doubters and negative voices are here to drive us. They are here to push us to learn more and improve our skills. They are here to be proven wrong. They are here to make us strive to be better. They are to be defeated.
For the first time, I am aware of the purpose of the voices and doubters, and rather than feeling defeated, I am excited. I am ready to make this site a major part of my career. I am ready for this to be an exciting and entertaining and valuable and uplifting and fun place for all those that have stuck with me for all the years. I am ready for this to be a rewarding place for those that have just discovered the site too.
My goal is to continue to be honest about my feelings and emotions on here. I am going to manage them. I am going to overcome the negativity. I hope my journey can help inspires others. We can all overcome the doubters and bring some amazing things into this world/
Thank you for all your support, and I can't wait for an amazing September.
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