Sight Unseen: An Ignorant Plot Synopsis of Morbius

 DISCLAIMER: I have not seen the film.  This synopsis is merely my best guess, based off of the trailer and my flabbergasted intellect.

 Out in the ocean there is a containership with vacation passengers that is being captained by a Morbius. The boat's name is Sony.  Morbius really would have liked to sail a much better vessel, something that was up to the level of perhaps a Disney Cruise, but he could only get the rights to a containership.  He sank a bunch of money into it to make it look good.  There was a cool banner that said, "Hey, buddies!  Enjoy the cruise n' such!"  Streamers and balloons were purchased.  It looked super great, some would almost say it looked marvellous, but everyone knew that he was taking a lesser product and trying to fool people into thinking it was at the same level as it's competitors.

The only people who signed up to be passengers were a bunch of guys dressed in black with a bunch load of tactical gear.  When Morbius threw a murder mystery dinner and cut the lights, all these dudes interpreted this as meaning, 'it's on.'  They got their guns with flashlights on them and tried to find a Morbius.  They really misread this situation.  Coxswain Adrian Toomes was the murderer, but the men didn't even follow the clues.

While he was being hunted, Morbius sort of felt like Batman.  There was a time when he was kind of a bit younger when a bunch of bats flew out of a cave and surrounded him.  However, since he could only get the rights to a containership, he had to forgo the Batman angle.  Vampires were in the public domain, so he went with that.

After taking care of the misguided participants in an otherwise wonderful murder mystery evening, Morbius heads back to the continent where he started to realize that he needed to feed on the blood of others to remain alive.  He tried sucking the blood of deers because he was a massive Twilight fan, and was a ride or die Team Edward homie.  Sadly, what worked in those movies didn't work with him, so he needed to hunt humans.

With a lot of emotions swirling inside him over all of this, he confides in Milo.  Milo is all like, 'Well, it sounds like you're a bad guy, so just go with it."  

Morbius figures being a bad guy works, but he wouldn't be able to write and sell a memoir because while being a bad guy is cool and all, telling the story of a bad guy is hard because why would he be relatable?  Then he got an idea.  What if he was a doctor?  Then he may be relatable and be able to sell his story.  Being part relatable, he may be able to be seen as an anti-hero and therefor be able to make money off of his story.

Unfortunately, becoming a doctor is not easy to do and requires some night courses.  This is hard to pull off since he feeds on humans at night.  Milo suggests killing people in the subway because there are a lot of them in a space that's hard to escape from.  Then Morbius would be able to feast and get to night class almost on time.

After a gruelling two semesters he applies for a job at a hospital, but he now has some sort of weird limp and ailment.  He knows that he is perfect for this position, but the hospital administrator tells him they already have a Doctor Strange and they didn't want to look like they were just trying to repeat a story of a fanciful doctor with powers.  Disgruntled, Morbius goes back to cruise shipping his container ship, accepting the reality that this has kind of been done already and won't make for a profitable memoir.  “Perhaps,” he wonders, “maybe I’ll use a sword to hunt down other vampires. Thats the ticket.”