Sight Unseen: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness


 DISCLAIMER: I have not seen the film.  This synopsis is merely my best guess, based off of the trailer and my flabbergasted intellect. 

 Dr Stephen Strange (pronounced 'Stee'en' by most second graders) keeps having the same dream about a haunted Downton Abbey.  The abbey looks different, and within it's grand main door there is some kind of stairway to the heavens.  He always wakes up quite confused, and usually throws in the Blu-ray Special Collector's Edition of season three to ground himself.  He needs to know what poor Molesley is up to.  He really identifies with poor Molesley, and spending a bit of time in the abbey reassures Stee'en that it was all just a dream, and the house of the Crawley's is intact.

He has made a mistake and messed up the whole multiverse thing because Peter Parker is a silly teenager who got flummoxed during a spell and caused Stee'en to crack open multiple realities.  As long as he doesn't find himself in a reality where Downton is a ruinous waste, he is mostly happy.

However, the rest of the populous aren't so easily placated.  Baron Mordo (who never even watched enough episodes of Downton to see the dashing Turkish diplomat die while in the non-marital bed of Lady Mary Crawley) is incensed enough to arrest Dr Strange for crimes against the chronologically determined.  He is brought before the council and it is there he gets a scolding.  Stee'en tries to tell them how it was Parker who messed everything up, but Council member Rick calls him a narc and they banish him to a temple.

Thankfully for Stee'en, this temple is full of people who are encouraging and they don't give him the guff about multi-versing and really being a prick to humanity by causing all of this.  These are the happy times,  but they don't last very long at all.  Soon a storm cloud of danger starts brewing, and Stee'en barely escapes in time with what would be the last pie the pastry chef of the temple would ever make.  For those who don't know, Temple Pie is about the best pie one could ever bite into.  You'll never find a soggy bottom.

Meanwhile, The Scarlett Witch shows up and has a nice walk with Stee'en, talking about the multi-verse and reminiscing about all of the good times they had together.  This nice and refreshing visit does not last long, though.  Soon all sorts of time and universe warping goes down.  It essentially turns into a game of The Floor is Lava, as they have to make sure they don't accidentally step into a different dimension.  Stee'en is trying to rescue some stupid kid that stepped into one, and they end up in the 8-bit dimension and their faces become appropriately pixelized.

The biggest problem happens when an urban octopus ends up in New York and starts throwing city buses. Stee'en now understands the true scale of what is happening, and dedicates his free time to fighting said octopus.  Stee'en has a few tricks up his sleeve, but an urban octopus has six more sleeves than Stee'en.  Through his cunning and stuff, Stee'en is able to beat octopus and then eats octopus in victory.  The world is saved, and he is thanked for beating octopus.  The mayor of Schenectady gives him the key to the city, and promises him two for one car washes for the foreseeable future.

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