50K!

Sight Unseen: An Ignorant Plot Synopsis of Minions: The Rise of Gru


 DISCLAIMER: I have not seen the film.  This synopsis is merely my best guess, based off of the trailer and my flabbergasted intellect.

The stage is set, and these little Minion jerks are ready for spring break.  The semester has been gruelling, and even the stupidest yellow things need some time to unwind n' stuff.  They are banned from travelling by pretty much every mode of transportation in the continental United States, and St Augustine Beach isn't going to come to them.

Air travel is easily the most difficult mode of transport when it comes to beating security, which means that it would make a lot more sense to try and smuggle themselves onto a bus or train.  However, they know that's exactly what 'the man' would expect.  To throw 'the man' off their scent, they concoct an elaborate plan to pose as airline workers to hijack a plane.  True story, bro.

Disguised as pilots and crap, they miraculously make it onto a plane.  They were hoping to get onto the plane before any passengers boarded, but that's not how it played out.  That means that every poor sucker on that sky carton would be tagging along for spring break whether they needed unwinding time or not.

Boning up on aircraft instructions, they ignore directions from the control tower.  These are minions, and to them those fools in the tower are working for 'the man.'  There's no way they would ever do what those funky bunions told them to.  They are the cuddly renegades of the skies now, and they will suffer nobody.

Unknown to the boys in the cabin, one of the minions is feeling generous and begins handing out some 'snacks' to the passengers.  To get past security, they have hidden their LSD in peanuts.  This is the entire stash for the week.  I totally mean the entire stash, man.

The flight takes a crazy turns as all of a sudden everyone is hallucinating about things like flaming rabbit kicks and all sorts of craziness.  Most of the people can't stand this bad trip and start crying.  What was meant to be an act of hospitality turned into chaos so quickly.  The problem with minions is that they don't really think about things like ordinary people's resilience and tolerance of hallucinogenics.  Minions be tanks when it comes to recreational drugs  

The plane gets landed safely somehow, and this crazy adventure comes to an end.  What really happened on the plane is unknown, as each individual had a different experience, and the authorities spend a long time trying to really get an idea of the course of events.  They work for 'the man,' though.  The minions bash some skulls and head to St Augustine Beach for their R & R.

(This trailer really gave me nothing to work with.  What else is new?)



Comments