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Sight Unseen: An Ignorant Plot Synopsis of Nope


DISCLAIMER: I have not seen the film.  This synopsis is merely my best guess, based off of the trailer and my flabbergasted intellect.  Also, this is legitimately one of my most anticipated films of the year, and I secretly hope that it is nothing at all like my synopsis.

 All across the county, The League of Floppy Gentleman-Dancers has pitched municipalities on the benefits of having authentic and trademarked Floppy Gentleman-Dancers.  Normally, these are only found outside of car washes and used car lots.  The automotive industry has tested the use of Rigid Man-Dancers, thus disrupting the established industry of air propelled flirtatious joy that dozens of people enjoy looking at each day.

The Haywood Ranch, a place where horses are trained to audition for Hollywood movies, is low on money.  They can't afford Compact Discs, so their only home-jamming music is dusty old records.  There's a lot of dust about, because, you know... ranch.

Neighbouring Barker Ranchers Inc had moved to allow the installation of acres of solar panels on some of their land to inject a little more cash into their pocket books.  The good folk at Haywood try and nail down a similar initiative, but the solar company is all like, "Nope!"  It looks like they won't be able to passively profit on some of their land expanse.

Hearing about The Haywood Ranch, the deputy director of The League of Floppy Gentleman-Dancers, Tex McGuarry, makes his move.  He's totally like, "Dude, we will partner with you to promote our new line of Floppy Gentleman-Dancers, also knowns as The Mark 2/Series R."

The last time OJ Haywood was in town, he had been mesmerized for a solid forty three seconds at the fun maneuvers of the Series R, and is plum happy to sign on for this joint venture.  The Haywood Ranch would not have creative control over the location of the Series R placements, but they were legally allowed to gander at them whenever they so pleased.

Problem was, the sky was all super pissed off.  Nobody knew why, though.  The sky was a complete prick, and folks couldn't help but look up at it and remember the good old days when it wasn't such a tool.  They even set up security cameras to keep an eye on the sky, lest it really start acting like a brat.

Well, it does start being a brat, and uses its power of wind and dust manipulation to attack the Series R and knock it out of production.  Those at The Haywood Ranch take the brunt of the dust and sky clouds.  Horses get upset, and rightly so.  People also have to run away from all of the mean frolicking that the sky hands out.  The ranch went from jovial to being a place of dry, sandy eyes.

The Haywoods refuse to let the atmospheric bullying dictate what they do.  Everything they can do to protect the Series R is attempted, but the sky is all like, "Nope!"  Sand is still just absolutely everywhere.  Saddened by the persistence of that ultra stupid sky, OJ goes to town to relax at a local bar.  He chats it up with a local bird, and vents some of his frustrations, as well as tossing out some serious pickup lines.  

"I don't like sand," he tells Lonni Bandry.  "It's coarse and rough and irritating - and it gets everywhere."  He tries to lean in and sneak a kiss, but Lonni calls him a jerk and walks away.  He is left baffled how this line didn't lead to romance, because it's just so darned romantic.  Oh well, perhaps it would work in another galaxy.

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