I'm a Better Dad Than Him. . .

Sight Unseen: An Ignorant Plot Synopsis of Black Adam


 DISCLAIMER: I have not seen the film.  This synopsis is merely my best guess, based off of the trailer and my flabbergasted intellect.

In a world where super heroes are the sh*t, there are also some really upset and peeved folk with super powers as well.  However, whenever those super heroes or peeved jerks are black they need to be specifically labeled as black, such as Black Panther, Black Lightning, Black Manta, and now Black Adam.  For sake of equality they shifted things for White Charles, but he never took off for some reason.

Black Adam is especially a jerk because his son died for a noble reason or some such nonsense.  Now Adam is all like, "Darned city is going to pay big balls!"  He's never talked with such a potty mouth before and is kind of glad his dumb kid wasn't around to see it.  That kid was a parrot, and he'd be totally nonstop repeating all three no-no words that were uttered.

Thankfully, Adam doesn't have a lot of cool looking people to stop him.  There's this ridiculous vulture looking braggart and a few other 'heroes' that look as though they were Fortnite skins brought into real life.

Adam is at a loss, though.  He doesn't really know who he should punch.  His peeved-out metre is maxed out, and nothing settles a Black Adam's nerves than punching some sort of chump, be it a hero or just a nuisance person.  This is why he's bad.  Because he uses Punch Out Therapy, a practice that was derided as nonsense lunacy by the majority of those in the psychiatry realm.  Junk science, they called it.  Just a poorly conceived veil to allow knobs to throttle someone.  The psychiatry field does not suffer knobs.  nor do they Believe in Punch Out Therapy.

This has been the way for many decades.  The germ for this idea is believed to have evolved from the invention of burlap, which was first used for making underwear.  It's brief reign as undergarment king created a horde of peeved off folk who weren't previously identified as jerks.  However, walk a mile in a man's crotchal nightmare and you can see why this happened.

In the late 1970s, Punch Out Therapy started gaining some traction, and at the annual Davos forum, countries from around the world with universal health care discussed implementing it as part of a "Groovin' For Health" initiative that would be hip and cool with the youth.  The big question, and the one that still remains to this day, is who is to be punched?  There were some naysayers, but haters gonna hate.

However, all it's legitimacy was wiped out in 1987 when therapists tried to leap onto the video game craze and published a game where people could simulating punching out jerks who were trying to punch them out first.  What was supposed to be a conduit for those needing Punch Out Therapy turned into a farce as even mild mannered citizens played the game, devaluating its legitimacy.

That's why Black Adam punches a plane.

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