I'm Confident That I Need to Work On My Confidence

There are many factors behind why we're creeping into April and I've only written one movie review, The Movie Breakdown only shows up in blips, very few articles of substance have been posted, my career continues to spiral, my relationships remain fragile, and life seems like an emotion scarred warzone.

But from what I'm now figuring out is self-sabotage, my less than stellar self-confidence and crippling fear of how to handle success is a prime culprit.

I want my career to shine.

I want to grow this site and podcast.

I want to become an accredited film critic.

I want to publish books, novels, and short stories.

I want bylines in major publications.

I want a leading role in a musical or play  

I want to be the breadwinner in my family or at least feel like I am playing a huge part in supporting it.

I want to have rewarding, loving, and fulfilling relationships.

I want to achieve my dreams.

I want to better this world.

But my crumbled self-confidence is a toxic minefield towards my success.

How do I solve it?

Here are a few things that I'm hoping to implement, and my readers will know they're working likely by how often articles or links to published works arrive on the site going forward.

Seek medical help. I'm currently pursuing help with sleep apnea, depression, my marriage, and handling stress. It is overwhelming having so many appointments and different professionals, but I need it.

Push myself. A huge blocker is fear, and especially fear of rejection and failure. I often avoid that rejection by finding ways of just not doing the task  You can't be rejected or fail if you don't do it, right? So, I need to start taking deep breaths, count to ten, and leap into a situation. I just need a few seconds of bravery to go forward with a task.

See failure as a step towards success. Everyone fails. I will fail. But failure is not the end. It is just part of the journey towards success. I need to see failure as a way to grow and learn. I know this. I just need to incorporate this mindset into my life. 

Celebrate wins. My podcast was approached by a large media company to be a part of their family. I was part of a musical production that performed four shows in a historic thousand-seat-plus venue. I was paid several hundred dollars to share my recent struggles in relationships and what I did to try to repair them. I have two kids that love me. 

I'm not sure why it is so hard to trumpet success, but it always feels wrong and inappropriate. But I need to be proud of my wins and focus on those victories. I'll likely post more often about those big moments as a way to boost my confidence.

Celebrate the victories of others. Someone also finding success doesn't mean I've lost. It means there are more opportunities for everyone. There is enough success for the entire world. We need to be proud of those around us that achieve their dreams. We need to celebrate them. If they can do it, then so can we. I need to leave jealousy out of it, and rather be happy when good things happen to others in my life.

Use positive language. I am a great writer. I create a fun and worthwhile podcast. I am a loving and hardworking dad. I can succeed. I can reach my dreams. I have something of value to offer this world. Yeah, more of this.

Don't feel guilty about doing something for myself. I can admit when I am burnt out. I can be honest with how I am feeling, and then do something that will make me feel better. If I can't care for myself, then it is impossible to care for anyone else.

There are definitely many other things that I can do as well. These will be some of my main focuses as I try to get my life, relationships, and career back on track. 

There will be positive results demonstrated by actual articles, podcasts, and reviews returning to the site.

What are some things you do to build up your confidence?