My Valentine

Seeking Joy

 


The last two years have been a momentous struggle to get excited or enjoy most things. It is one of the reasons being a critic has been hard as often my inner campfire has been doused with buckets of water. I feed off my kids' excitable enjoyment and usually, pleasure comes from knowing they are happy. 

Theatre is a massive glowing treasure for our family, and creative opportunities remain a vital spark for my soul. But most times everything just feels flat, and the joy I need is either absent or coming in trickles. I got pretty good at masking that emptiness, and other diagnoses have revealed I've been a subconscious masker for decades. 

It definitely is exhausting, and my tank empties faster by the day. As I journey through 2025 with counseling, therapy, medication, and other medical tools and assistance, I'm attempting to stress less about that missing 'happiness' and pace myself on a voyage of reclaiming joy. 

I am well aware I have a lot to appreciate. I've been blessed with an incredible wife, kids, parents, siblings, in-laws, friends, and colleagues. I want to create more, engage more, love more, embrace more, and just do more in 2025. 

I'm still figuring out who I am with these diagnoses and still trying to heal and grow. It will take time, but I need to wander out of my comfort zone sometimes too. I know I've been absent in many forms, but please reach out. 

As this mental health journey continues, I hope I can also help, empathize, and love those struggling as well. I appreciate the massive outpouring in recent months, and I intend to pay it forward and make this as wonderful a year as possible (despite the literal and metaphorical fires surrounding us). 

Let's find that joy together.

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