Hesitant

There are a lot of reasons why the site is in its current state. Many reasons why the newsletter had only one issue this year. Similar reasons why the podcast has been mostly dormant. A lot of it comes from fear. Fear that maybe what I think, what I have to say, isn't that insightful or interesting. That I put all this effort in and the audience doesn't grow, because I missed my chance or hit my peak. A frustration of how to manage the work here while struggling to make money as a freelancer. 

There are those moments when I see a flicker of light. I think this is the ongoing work. I can balance this, and I'll be in a more financially secure place. But then something puffs it out. The light is gone. I'm back to being hard on myself and immersed in self-doubt.

But I don't want that to be my story. I have many other stories to tell. I'm hesitant that success is a thing I can witness, but I really have no other choice.

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