Possible Defintions for Criticizer

This post is dedicated to my dear Irish American fiend. . . er, friend who questioned me on my word 'criticizer' from yesterday's post on Jennifer Knapp. Here are some possible definitions for the word that Dave may think does not exist.

1. When you disparage someone in a mean and heartless manner, rather than being one who reviews movies and music.

2. A person who judges and rates someone who measures people for rented tuxes or designer suits and dresses.

3. A small mouse that grows 50 times its size after eating radioactive cheese on Three Mile island.

4. A critic who must always carry around a synthesizer. Though before 1978, they were known as synthecizers. It was the late great Lord Sidious Sizer who changed the spelling, because he wanted to leave behind a legacy. Of course, nobody remembers who he was (no, I did not just make this guy up. Go look him up on Wikipedia, but wait until I get around to writing his entry).

5. A word that can't be found on Merriam-Websters online dictionary, but can be found on answers.com and the website 'Difficult Personalities.'

6. A word someone writes at 11:30 at night, when they don't think critics defines the people he wants to rant against enough.

7. A native of the Island of Criti who has perfected the art of cizing.

8. A person who finds fault in others, and severely and harshly exposes this apparent fault.

9. A Zombie that sparkles

10. A type of scissor that cuts into the very soul of a person (note to self: do not play with these type of scissors).

There Dave, I hope this is enough evidence that this word is real and should have been used in yesterday's title.