"Hey Christopher, What Are You Doing This Weekend?"

Hey, thanks for asking. I'll be venturing off to Toronto for a weekend of merriment and glee.

"Oh, so you'll be watching that hit new TV show about high school singing? Why not just do that at home?"

That would be Glee. I'll be there for the wedding celebration of my brother-in-law and soon to be sister-in-law. It should be fun in a can, except not in a can. In a hall. Or at least, I've been assuming up to this point the festivities are not being held in a can. I should verify that.

"Well, it should be really nice to have a wedding in the country's capital."

No, you ignorant slut. The capital of Canada is Ottawa. Toronto is the capital of Ontario.

"Isn't Ontario and Canada basically the exact same thing?"

Well, it is true that Ontario is basically Canada. Though 9 other Provinces and 3 Territories might have a slight problem with that statement.

"That is only because they are jealous because they can't vote."

No, no, no, your idiocy is proven once again. They can vote, but only after Ontario and the moose herd do.

"Wow, you are a wealth of knowledge!"

I know. I am pure genius. Your life is better because of me.

"Yeah, I'd be useless without you!"

You still are. Actually, I don't even know who you are.

"I'm some fictional person you've made, so you can distract all your readers from the fact you are once again not blogging anything of worth."

Oh yeah.

"Do you need me for anything else?"

No, you can go off being non existent again.

But you know what won't be non existent?

An awesome weekend!

I hope you get yourself one of those, while I do some wedding celebrating. But even though I'll have whisked myself away from the internet, this here blog will still be delivering daily doses of content punches. When it comes to punches, those are the very best kind.