12 Ways That 2012 Will Be The End of the World

There has been talk for years that 2012 could be the year the world goes bye bye and the apocalypse is given the invitation to go nuts.  The Mayans predicted the end of the world will be 2012, and if we can't trust the Mayans then honestly, who are we going to believe?  They totally must have known that the world was doomed at 2012, and that is why they bailed out of here so long ago.  Why didn't they wait until 2012 to be wiped out with the rest of us?  Well, they clearly didn't want to be pestered by all the people wanting to know how the world will end.  But don't worry, you don't need the Mayans to show you how the world will be doomed, when you've got my blog to make up 12 crazy reasons.  Here is 12 ways it will likely all end at the end of this year.

1.  Beetles will suddenly realize they have the human population outnumbered.  Dude, you don't want to know what a beetle army will do.  But you will, because they're destroying the world.

2.  The Walking Dead is a documentary from the future.

3.  Over a millennium ago, a mad wizard devised a devious and evil plan to convince the world vegetables are good for us.  In actuality, they're the poison that will knock out the entire race.  We've all been slowly brainwashed to eat more and more until our bodies will shrivel away from lack of protein.  This is why we now have vegans and other folks are expected to eat 9 servings a day.  I warned everyone that we should have ate more bacon.

4. Ryan Seacrest

5. Remember how as a kid you were afraid to turn off the lights or leave the closet open before going to sleep, because you just knew the boogeyman was waiting for you.  Well, let's just say they've all been very, very, very patient.

6.  This year's hottest Christmas gift? Explode-You-Nuclear-Reactors.

7.  Lawnmowers everywhere become sentient.  Oh no, sentient lawnmowers!  They have blades!  It will be a massacre.  Obviously, they all decide to go for a swim and their blades rust away.  The grass grows to be so long!

8.  Rabid llamas.

9.  Internet hoax warns everyone that their neighbour is an evil assassin from Neptune prepared to shut down torrents all across the internet.  Obviously, the internet never lies, and anyone threatening you from downloading Tower Heist must pay.

10.  Any society that watches Toddlers & Tiaras. . . 

11.  Elvis lives.  He is going to return on a flying, horned platypus that shoots out flaming banana peanut butter sandwiches.  Oh why, oh why, did people want his return!

12.  The lease is up.