Sight Unseen: An Ignorant Plot Synopsis of X

DISCLAIMER: I have not seen the film.  This synopsis is merely my best guess, based off of the trailer and my flabbergasted intellect.

Oh, the road is the journey, and destination be damned.  At least that's what a bunch of adults think as they cruise around country side.  While at a gas station to get both petrol and some Slim Jims to snap into, Bobby-Lynne looks at a magazine book.  The people in it are interesting, and they are famous.  "Darn it, Wayne," she says to Wayne of all people, "I wanna be famous."

Wayne kind of hears her, but mostly his brain is focused on that sweet new cowboy hat he purchased. It's just the right shape, and it does wonders for highlighting all of his highlightable features.  All he hears from Bobby-Lynne is,"'blah-blah-blah, magazine.  Blah, blah blah famous."  Nodding, he's all like, "yeah, baby.  Sure thing."

Getting back into their van, the road trip continues.  About five minutes down the road from the gas station, Wayne realizes that Bobby-Lynne is still blahing on about famous, and remembers that he said something about it.  He isn't sure what he said, but his upbringing was all about being supportive, so he assumes he told her it could happen.

"Guess what, gang?" Wayne shouts with a solid amount of giddy.  "We're gonna make a feature film about wholesome farm living and tending the fields in the most moral of ways."

The gang gets really excited.  They've always wanted to be a part of making a wholesome farm living feature film.  Scrounging around between the van's seat cushions and looking around they are able to find some film making equipment.  Now all they need is a location that's perfect for projecting wholesome farm living.

Wayne sees a pretty cool looking place, and turns down the long, winding driveway to the farm house. The dude who lives there is totally like, "Sure thing, Wayne."  They can shoot the film in the barn and hang out there, but they are warned that the farmer's wife is a bit of a night prowler and that she has a tendency to massage people while they sleep.

While that sounds kind of creepy, this location is perfect.  They set about writing a script, and filming starts right away.  Bobby-Lynne plays a wholesome farm living woman who needs the help of Jackson, who is more than willing to give it to her.  Between takes, Lorraine decides that she wants to be in the film, but then is mocked by some of the secondary characters.  She's so upset that she wakes up that night while getting a massage from the farmer's wife who is taking a break from her naked all night poker game with the gals.

Wayne was pretty sure that the farmer wasn't being serious about the night time massages, but now he realizes that they are all in trouble.  It seems that the farmer and his wife aren't happy with them making a wholesome farm living movie.

Things descend into darkness pretty quick when someone gets blood on the bottom of their shoe and tracks it on set.  Then someone screams.  Then someone dies.  Then it all goes pear-shaped.  Like totally crazy pear-shaped to the point where the sheriff shows up and tells them to take their wholesome morals somewhere else.  Grudgingly, the gang leaves the farm.  They were so close to getting the movie done, but they can't work under these conditions.

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