Sight Unseen: An Ignorant Plot Synopsis of Watcher


 DISCLAIMER: I have not seen the film.  This synopsis is merely my best guess, based off of the trailer and my flabbergasted intellect.

Julia is all young and looking youthful.  Her husband Francis (who is Scandinavian, which is obvious because of his name) is a total babe, and he is all up about looking youthful as well.  His muscles hurt, though.  A hot, young married couple that sleeps without closing their curtains and then don't like that Watcher is looking at them.  "Use your darned curtains!" Julia's mother wants to yell, but she doesn't want to get involved.  Still, it only takes three to four seconds to close curtains, and it seems like this entire problem could have been solved by just the smallest of practical thinking.

A very concerned Julia talks to Francis about it.  "Not to worry, babe," he says as he shovels Lucky Charms into his mouth.  He doesn't like the flavour, but he is a sucker for all things whimsical.  Julia keeps talking about how upset she is over Mr Watcher and his gazes, but he doesn't hear it.  All he can think about is if leprechauns would eat this cereal if they actually existed.

This entire Mr Watcher issue really haunts Julia.  After a while she figures that the answer to all of her problems could be solved by doing the ever so simple and obvious thing of closing them curtains.  She sighs in relief.  No more Mr Watcher.  

One day while randomly watching surveillance footage of a Seven Eleven, she's totally like, "That's him!  That's Mr Watcher!"  While she's peering at the black and white footage she doesn't even realize the irony of her now watching him.  If her older brother hadn't played a prank and told her that irony actually meant 'the muscle relaxant of baby faced vikings,' she probably would have been able to see it.

Returning home, some dude named Lars Thorwald is outside her apartment door to talk about Mr Watcher.  This all feels legit, don't you know, and Julia takes it at face value.  There's nothing creepy about this at all, and she heads inside to go onto Amazon and see if there are any good deals on brand name irony that she can get Francis for his birthday.

After a whole lot of lacklustre watching, someone ups and dies due to murder.  All the residents of the apartment building get together to discuss what to do now.  The head of the tenant's board, Miss Torso, says that they should all probably start watching, which is something that apparently happens a lot around there.

Spoiler alert, it turns out that Mr Watcher is actually a photojournalist that broke his leg in a journalism accident.  Dude didn't kill anyone, and he's just bored to poop and back.  They all have a solid Scooby Doo laugh over it all, and then burn the body of the dead person because they just couldn't be bothered to do anything about it.  Who has time to report a dead body, am I right?


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